Friday, 31 December 2010


If you set a goal for yourself and are able to achieve it, you have won your race. Your goal can be to come in first, to improve your performance, or just finish the race. It's up to you.

(Dave Scott, American tri-athlete and six-time Ironman World Champion. Via Runner's World Daily Kick in the Butt)

Happy New Year and good luck for Janathon!

Here's to 2011 - whatever your goal.

Monday, 27 December 2010

Bright ideas

Some of my best ideas come into my little brain whilst running. If I'm struggling to plan a lesson then a little jog can be one of the most productive things I can do to get thoughts straight in my head (too bad I need so much reminding of this). How frustrating it can be that there's rarely a way of jotting these ideas down when shuffling around a run. Conversely, it's very rare that a truly top-notch idea will find its way into my head after pickling in 5 pints of London Pride at the pub. Funny then that laptops and wireless interwebs make it all too easy to record (and, worse, publicise) my musings in this state. Let's take this Christmas Eve, for example, whereupon merrily falling through the door, I opened not only my laptop but also the massive tub of Celebrations we'd been saving for Christmas. I discovered the true extent of my brain activity on Christmas morning when I found a smooshed up Galaxy Truffle on my keyboard (of course I went for the good ones first) and a mysterious badge on my blog. It seems that in my infinite and inebriated wisdom, I thought it an entirely magnificent idea to sign up for the Janathon, an 'annual festival of activity and excuses' organised by Cathy at JogBlog.

I started this little blog in June
- exactly 16 weeks before the marathon I was planning on running in October. Today puts me back in the same place with 16 weeks to go until London 2011. I went out for a slow 3 miler today with my friend and we decided that it probably won't be particularly easy to run every single day for 31 days; however, given that I've made fewer than 20 posts in 6 months, it looks like the truly tricky bit might be blogging about it. I just hope all the running will inspire some creative thinking - if not, I'll have to go to the pub more often.

Thursday, 23 December 2010

Permanent innuendo

I love a good innuendo. Double the entredre, double the fun, I say. My childish sense of humour loves to turn the most innocent of phrases into a work of smut. In fact, my similarly juvenile friend has ruined the idea of a "chocolate fountain" for me and don't even get me started on the need for a "fiscal stimulus" in these times of austerity.

This childish streak leaves me nervous of clumsy mistakes at the hairdresser and I dread the day I ask for much more than a "cut and blow dry" during an otherwise routine appointment. Imagine my nerves this week then when I took myself to London Village to a salon that advertises the wondrous "permanent blow dry" treatment. I pictured pervs lined up down the street having misread the advert. They'd be in for disappointment, that's for sure, since the only steaminess they were promised during this hour was permitted by the relief of my poor, distressed hair follicles as the kind lady ran her styling instruments over my parched, gasping locks. After some intensive treatment, the lady insisted that she would need to straighten my hair, to ensure that the shaft (*fnar*) remained regimented and proud as the conditioner penetrated (*snigger*) and conditioned the cuticles. Any of the pervs who'd got this far has better bloomin' make sure that they put their hood up on their flasher mac when they leave, or else they may run this risk of their barnets being rendered brambled and bush-like by the slightest whiff of moisture (*gah*) in the air. I left the place with silky, yet sticky, tresses, ready for anything the next 3 months could throw at me.

"WTF does this have to do with running?" I'm sure you're asking. Well, precisely nothing is the accurate answer, especially as I'm not allowed to wash my hair for 3 days, unless I wish to risk looking like Sideshow Bob from now until the forseeable...

Yes, this is the ultimate excuse to miss training. You heard it here first. It had better frikkin' be worth it.

Tuesday, 7 December 2010


From a 12-year old today,

"Are you having a baby?"

Training clearly not going quite as well as I thought. Should be warm for the winter though.
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