Wednesday, 12 January 2011

12) Janatholism: Part 1

jan·ath·ol·i·sm (jan-uth-ol-izum)
n. Pathology
A chronic disorder characterised by dependence on jogging, logging and blogging. Symptoms may include excessive sweating; fabrication of outlandish excuses; the development of withdrawal symptoms on reducing or ceasing access to the internet; a steadily declining grip on reality; and decreased ability to function socially.

It is important that you know the symptoms of janatholism so you can recognise it in yourself and others at an early stage.

Janatholism Symptoms Part 1 - Preparation:

1) Dependents will insist that their toenails must be kept short for running; fingernails short for blogging.


2) They will maintain that running shoes and white socks can be paired with any clothing (jeans/office gear/highland dress), making a style statement that they are fully prepared to defend if it means they can head out for a jog at any time.

3) Accompanying outfits for (2) are generally chosen based on visibility and/or breathability for the same reason.

4) They will happily put upper body mobility on hold for the entire month of January; it's much easier to wear a sports bra all day than waste precious running time contorting oneself to get into it later on. (Generally affects only ladies. Or does it? We are here to help, not judge.)

5) They are prepared to sleep in clean running kit to ensure a swift start to their run in the morning.

6) They may even consider sleeping in dirty running kit when really pushed for time. (Only in very extreme cases of janatholism will dependents actually do this. This is rare; however, recovery from this degree of dependence is improbable.)

Tomorrow, Janatholism Symptoms Part 2 - Delegation...

Day 12 - Slow morning run to work in warm kit
Distance: 3.26 miles
Time: 0:40:39
Pace: 12:28 min/mile
Cake rating: 3/5 (legs pretty duff from last night)

Day 12 - Cycle commute back up the hill of doom
Distance: 3.91 miles
Time: 25:18
Speed: 9.3 mph

Cumulative Janathising: 47.7 miles running + 48.6 miles cycling


  1. Sniggered all the way though. Fab post :-)

  2. I thought I was safe when you mentioned pairing white socks with any outfit (a "fashion crime" I'd never commit)... but then I noticed you said running shoes and socks and, yup, I'm still a candidate. Add to it the mention of sleeping in dirty kit and... well... it's not looking good! Excellent post.

  3. OH my! this is me! I was actually thinking on my drive home today... maybe I can wear my sports bra to work and a dress... then I can just whip my trainers on and squeeze a run in between the end of work and the start of my meeting! Agggghhhhh!!! What do I do???!!!

  4. Recognise the symptoms but no problems with sports bras. I struggle to make sure I have enough clean kit - my dog gives me a strained look if I wear kit too many times. Good post :-)

  5. love it...... it's medical fact!

  6. Yep I'm a sufferer, great definiton

  7. Hilarious. I am now feeling even more inadequate in my blogability than ever before. It must be another symptom surely

  8. Oooohhhh and we have a hill of doom as well. I think that's another symptom (unless yours is also in SE London)

  9. There's a twelve step program to help with this sort of thing. The second step is February...

  10. Oh dear, I'm guilty of the all day sports bra (and it also had the secondary benefit of keeping me warm in a freezing cold office).


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