Friday, 14 January 2011

14) Janatholism: Part 3

jan·ath·ol·i·sm (jan-uth-ol-izum)
n. Pathology
A chronic disorder characterised by dependence on jogging, logging and blogging. Symptoms may include excessive sweating; fabrication of outlandish excuses; the development of withdrawal symptoms on reducing or ceasing access to the internet; a steadily declining grip on reality; and decreased ability to function socially.

(Janatholism Symptoms Part 1 - Preparation)

(Janatholism Symptoms Part 2 - Delegation)

The physical effects of janatholism may range from mild muscle soreness to complete loss of coordination and normal walking gait; however, janatholism is a both a physical and psychological condition. In the early stages, the janatholic will insist that running and blogging are purely social endeavours, that they could stop if they wanted to. Gradually, an increase in tolerance develops, meaning that excessive mileage or extra hours spent reading and commenting on blogs are required to "feel the buzz" or to "get high". In the later stages of dependency, janatholics will stop at nothing to get their fix. This is generally known as "going the extra mile". Could this be you?

Part 3 - Dedication:

1) Have you turned an innocent trip to the shops into an excuse for a Janathon outing?*

2) Have you taken the long way round the garden in your dressing gown to clock up extra mileage?**

3) Have you have wondered if running through the stroke of midnight will count as 2 runs on 2 separate days?***

4) Have you have experienced total lapses in common sense just to complete some extra exercise?

“Hmm, if I use my left hand to open this can of beans, I wonder if that will count for Janathon? What about if I take off both the top and the bottom?”

…moments later….


“Oh no, there seem to be beans all over the floor. I wonder if the cleaning will count for Janathon…”


5) Are you constantly extrapolating your efforts into a predicted total for the month?

"If I opened two of those cans every day from now until the end, that will make... erm.... 34 cans of beans opened.... GO ME!"
.


Know the signs, people. Preparation, Delegation, Dedication.

And if you are a janatholic... well done on completing Week 2!


[Thank you - *LazyGirlRunning; **JogBlog; ***Notmuchofarunner]


Day 14 - Cycle commuting
Distance: 3.93 miles
Time: 21:56
Speed: 10.8 mph

Day 14 - Unplanned run home from work in a fit of Week 2 excitement
Distance: 3.85 miles
Time: 0:46:21
Av Pace: 12:02 min/mile
Cake rating: 4/5 (actually rather enjoyable)
score4

Cumulative Janathising: 54.3 miles running + 63.8 miles cycling

3 comments:

  1. Pure brilliant, will it make the next oxford dictionary is it on wikipedia?

    ReplyDelete
  2. With reference to 3... I hadn't... but I have now! Totally love it... If we can now get this word into public usage and media forums, it'll be in the dictionary before the end of the year!

    ... Helen's got something... start with wikipedia!! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Love it, love it, love it!!

    Hi, my name's Midgie and I'm a 'janatholic'!

    This janathon is my way of easing myself back into regular exercise, however it is becoming addictive! Plus spending time reading / commenting on others blogs is great entertainment!

    ReplyDelete

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