Sunday, 12 June 2011

12) Bra crimes

Earlier this week, I heard on the radio about a research group at the University of Portsmouth that investigates the biomechanics of runners' bosoms, in order to develop better sports bras for female runners. According to their results, one's lady berries don't just bob innocently up and down during a run; instead, they take an altogether more circuitous route, gambolling around in a figure of 8, like a couple of drunken hooligans.

Is it any wonder it's so bloody difficult to find a good sports bra?

I've tried many different styles for running and found very few champions. There have, however, there have been plenty of outlaws:


Public disorder (partners in crime: they were pretty useless working alone)


3 counts of Grievous Bodily Chaffage


Crimes against fashion

I'm tempted to burn all these lawless rapscallions (except the Enell, which is the least of all evils... and cost me small fortune). Luckily, more compassionate souls exist who believe that all sports bras have rights. Rights that need protecting. That's why are organising a sports bra amnesty. According to their e-mail this week, if you send back an old sports bra*, you'll recieve £3 off your next order. All old sports bras are sent to Oxfam Wastesavers for recycling.

So whilst the quest continues to find the perfect scaffolding system, you can save a bit of cash in the meantime (assuming the postage on your boulder holder comes in under 3 quid).

*Less Bounce says: 1 amnesty sports bra can be claimed against each new sports bra ordered. Send old sports bras to "LessBounce, The Old Bank, High St, Netheravon, Salisbury SP4 9PQ", with your name, address, order details and payment.


Day 12 - About a mile of gambolling with the girls
Distance: 0.9 miles
Cake rating: 1/5 (rain stopped play)

Cumulative Juneathising: 30.6 miles running + 0.5 miles swimming + 43.5 miles cycling


  1. Thanks for the news of the sports bra amnesty - maybe I'll give LessBounce a try, normally I'm a dull M&S kind of girl!

  2. ooh thanks for the tip - time I replaced my over stressed favourite!

  3. Love the pictures!

    zoecakes - I've heard good things about M&S sports bras - read a survey where they came above the Shock Absorber Running bra. Do you rate them?

  4. chaffage ooh not great especially when you gt in the shower, ta for tip

  5. Enell bra squashes my rather ample lady beeries until they almost meet behind my back! An breathing can be a little difficult at times in it too!! TMI???? Probably!!

  6. ha ha ha... love your terminology! I find the SA run bra is good for no chafing, bouncing or gambolling of the lady berries!

  7. I have a rather ample bosom and quite happily use the sportjock D3 and Action sports bras because they zip at the front and just work well for me. I think it;s quite a personal thing - you just have to keep trying til you find the right one...


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