Friday, 3 June 2011

3) Tight fit

No, not the 80s pop sensation (although I will include a gratuitous link to their number 1 cover... eeee-eeeee-eeeeee wimboweh, wimboweh). Rather, an update on Operation Neoprene.

Loyal blog followers may yawn as they remember recall my quest to squeeze back into my child-sized wetsuit, ready to accommodate some silly notions of swimming about in the great outdoors this June. New readers may appreciate the abridged version: an initial bout of enthusiasm, some startling early results, but then the inevitable boredom of listening to the Headless Wetsuit Man and his Good Fridge Fairy:


On Tuesday, with lovely boyfriend out for the evening, I wriggled and wrestled my way into the wretched thing to see whether I'd need to source an alternative for tomorrow's Blenheim Triathlon.

"Eeeee-eeeee-eeeeeeee-um um-a-weh!", I cried in astonishment as I managed to squeeze myself in and do up the zip, albeit with limited feeling in my hands and feet and some restriction around the throat (details, details). I fumbled a text message to my friend to inform her of this wondrous news and communicated my mild concern that getting back out of the suit might pose more of an issue. She helpfully replied suggesting that I take Joey's advice to help Ross with his leather trousers. With the suit already on, I failed to see how talcum powder and body lotion were going to help me at this stage and contemplated spending the night in the bath like a beached whale Daryl Hannah in Splash. Thankfully, a good tug at the zip and some further wrenching and wrangling finally liberated me (lucky really as lovely boyfriend was not there to pour buckets of water over a stranded sea mammal).

I'm now confident that I'll make it at least as far as the lake tomorrow without the need for a tin of goose fat (perhaps I'll eat that instead... I jest). The rest is less certain. Even if I'm able to move my limbs sufficiently to swim 750 metres, there's the small matter of freeing myself afterward from the talcum powder body cast.


Day 3 - Run in the jungle heat
Distance: 1.4 miles
Time: 15 mins
Av Pace: 10.42 min/mile
Cake rating: 4/5 (a-wim-um-um-ba-wehhhh!)

Cumulative Juneathising: 8.6 miles running


  1. Brilliant as usual!
    Good Luck for tomorrow.

  2. Once again mik thinks I've lostbit because I'm sat on the sofa giggling outloud... At two things this time - your blog and the reminder of one of the funniest moments in friends history... Good luck for tomorrow

  3. Ooooh I LOVED that song - had my first snog to it at a school disco. At that friends episode is one of my faves. Bloody great news that you're in the wetsuit - I'm probably far too late posting this but good luck for today x

  4. if you put a plastic bag on your foot and then pull your wetsuit on over it it's really easy... doesnt work the other way round though. after many years i have still not worked out an elegant way to get one off.


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