Tuesday, 7 June 2011

7) Gruffalo vs Juneathon

A girl took a jog on her way back home.
Then the girl saw a chip shop and her mouth began to foam.

“Where are you going to?” the chip shop seemed to utter,
“Come and have chips with some nice bread and butter.”
“It’s terribly kind of you, Chippy, old son -
But I’m going to run home and log Juneathon.”

“Juneathon? What’s a Juneathon?”
“A Juneathon! Allow me to go on…
It makes me get out and go for a run
And then I can boast about what I’ve just done.”

“Where are you doing this?”
“Why, here on my blog -
I waffle and ramble after doing a jog.”

“Waffling and rambling! No thanks! Get stuffed!
Good by little girl,” he scoffed and huffed.

“Silly old Chippy! He should log on -
I think he’d enjoy a good Juneathon.”

On went the girl as she continued on back,
But the girl saw a bakery and her lips began to smack.

“Where are you going? Do you need a short break?
Come and have doughnuts and biscuits and cake.”

“That’s ever so good of you, Bakery, old chum -
Bit I’m still running home to log Juneathon.”

“Juneathon? What’s a Juneathon?”
“A Juneathon! Must I go on?
It’s a month-long project that gets us all moving!”
(This may not be great but the rhymes are improving.)

“Why are you doing this?”
“My reasons are hazy
But I know if I don't then I'll tend to be lazy.”

“Rhyming and moving! You’ve got to be joking!
Good bye silly girl,”
he spluttered, near-choking.

“Silly old Bakery! He can jog on -
Only the bravest do Juneathon.”

Up the last hill the running girl hopped,
But, seeing a pub, she finally stopped.

“Why don't you join us? You look a bit parched.”
“Sod this, you’re right,” and in she marched.
“Mine’s a pint, but make it a quick one -
I’m still running home to log Juneathon.”

“Juneathon? What’s a Juneathon?”
“A Juneathon! Oh do come on!
It’s an annual festival of fun and excuses,
The best ones stemming from beer-related bruises.”

“When are you doing this?”
“Right now, can’t you see?
I’m a finely honed athlete on a big fitness spree.”

“Finely honed athlete! Who are you kidding?
You’d better leave now, running kit is forbidden.”

“Lovely old pub! I’d better be gone -
There’s still 3 weeks left of this Juneathon.”


Day 7 - Run to work (sadly avoiding chippy, bakery and pub)
Distance: 3.9 miles
Pace: 11:19 min/mile
Cake rating: 3/5 (the rule of three)

Day 7 - Cycle home
Distance: 3.9 miles

Cumulative Juneathising: 20.8 miles running + 0.5 miles swimming + 20.2 miles cycling


  1. ho ho ho... it seems rhyming today is a popular thing, it's a good job we're blogging and you can't hear me sing!... poor I know but I'm distracted by the dulcet tones of Take That drifting on the air from the City stadium and dreaming of tomorrow night... I need a little patience!

  2. Awesome Cakey - absolutely awesome. I wonder if there is room to do something with the one about the woman with the tiny house who puts chickens and cows in to make it bigger - squash and a squeeze I think. Could be about clothing ;) Anyway - I love the Gruffalo, but this version made me laugh out loud and so I think I like it even more :)

  3. Class! Absolute class. Bravo :-)

  4. Brilliant! You are a genius.

  5. "These shorts are a squash and a squeeze!" - it had crossed my mind, Fattipuff, but all I could find was the Gruffalo when I got home (not a real one, you understand).


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