Sunday, 25 December 2011

Christmas present

At this time of year, many running blogs are reflecting on the year just gone. Not here! I won't bore you with a list of resolutions for 2012 either; this is no time for naval gazing, it's Christmas!

As Oogway, the wise tortoise in Kung Fu Panda, says,

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the 'present'."

There's no need to wait until January. If you're not already up to your Christmas crackers in bread sauce then it isn't too late to give yourself a little Christmas present today and this is what the gift tag says:

gift tag

Don't bother to keep the receipt. No refunds or exchanges necessary. Give yourself this gift and you'll be much nicer to everyone today (you'll also really enjoy your dinner and the first tipple will go straight to your knees). What could be more festive than that?

I hope you have a happy Christmas! Love from me x

*substitute other activities (e.g. bike ride/Twister/wheelbarrow racing) as you see fit.

Tuesday, 20 December 2011

All bottled up

If Santa is still looking for stocking fillers, he'd do well to check out my exclusive new range of aromatherapy oils:

End of Term Euphoria:

Use regularly to restore natural levels of optimism, creativity and sleep. The uplifting properties of this blend can be used to disperse the cumulative tension associated with long-term neglect of partners, friends and family. Can also be massaged into the eye area to reduce dark circles and puffiness.

Christmas Countdown:

This warming blend can be used to excite even the most miserly of beings. The comforting aromas of pine tree and mulled wine help stimulate an urgent need to drink, eat and shop festively. Use sparingly to avoid peaking too soon.

Caution: May cause hangovers.

Runner's High:

Apply liberally for unrivaled sensations of happiness, invincibility and appetite stimulation.

Tip: Blends well with Christmas Countdown.

I ran for the first time in a month today and contemplated the fortune I'd make with the last one. Then I realised the last thing I need is another excuse not to go training.

Still, I plan to make millions with the first bottle come January.
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