Tuesday, 20 December 2011
All bottled up
If Santa is still looking for stocking fillers, he'd do well to check out my exclusive new range of aromatherapy oils:
End of Term Euphoria:
Use regularly to restore natural levels of optimism, creativity and sleep. The uplifting properties of this blend can be used to disperse the cumulative tension associated with long-term neglect of partners, friends and family. Can also be massaged into the eye area to reduce dark circles and puffiness.
This warming blend can be used to excite even the most miserly of beings. The comforting aromas of pine tree and mulled wine help stimulate an urgent need to drink, eat and shop festively. Use sparingly to avoid peaking too soon.
Caution: May cause hangovers.
Apply liberally for unrivaled sensations of happiness, invincibility and appetite stimulation.
Tip: Blends well with Christmas Countdown.
I ran for the first time in a month today and contemplated the fortune I'd make with the last one. Then I realised the last thing I need is another excuse not to go training.
Still, I plan to make millions with the first bottle come January.